Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Anyone over 40 should remember that it was three. The Owl answers:

” A good question. Let’s find out. (He takes the Tootsie pop and starts licking) A One… A two-HOO… A tha-three..”

And then the owl crushes that weakened sugar frame cutting to the core and ending the existence of the confectionery delight. If the tootsie center were depicted as alive, its screams would have reverberated forever, as the carnivorous strigiforme’s mandible crushed through its protective covering. Terrorized children would likely then view owls as they now do ‘bullies’ and monsters so closely related the the bully meme. The owl in this story at the very least, did inspire a bit of angst from the boy who exclaimed

“If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s a smart owl.”

Yeah.  I can relate.

I wonder aloud (or on paper) on this day whether someone should ask the President a similar question?

“Mr President, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a constitution and crush it into eternal oblivion?”

Indeed as the president was lauded as so smart, so incredibly intelligent, it seems only appropriate we imagine his answer to be:

” A good question. Let’s find out. (He takes the constitution and starts crushing) A One… A two-HOO… A tha-three..”


The constitution is two hundred twenty five years old today.

It has withstood 225 years of abuse, neglect, change, and attacks. It has been resistant in many ways to scholarly ‘owls.’ Never has it seen the likes of what we have as a current administration. An administration that in just a few licks has made it questionable whether it can handle any more.

Happy 225th Birthday to the United States Constitution!

May it make it to 226.

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