This is Governor Jennifer Granholm’s radio speech after the Mac conference. My snarky assumed comments inset, bold
“This week I had a chance to speak to business and civic leaders from southeast Michigan who gather each year at the Detroit Regional Chamber of Commerce’s annual policy conference on Mackinac Island.”
Invites only. Oh yeah, the press as well.
“In my remarks, I encouraged these leaders to be actively involved in three of the most critical issues we face in state government today-Diversifying our economy and creating jobs, educating and training our students and workers and lowering the cost of government in Michigan.”
As long as they follow my suggestions …
“I also urged my audience to tune out those who, for their own reasons, try to divide us.”
Because heaven forbid anyone has an opinion that is contrary to my own. And you KNOW I am always right.
“Instead we need to focus on common sense solutions that we all agree on.”
That you agree with me on.
“First, we need to ensure that every child in Michigan is getting a quality education. At a time when we know our kids need all the education they can get to get good jobs, we have tens of thousands of young people who never even earn a high school diploma.”
So MORE money is needed to be taken from well performing schools so we can “lift up” the pathetic 20-25% graduation rates in the detroit public schools. I’m sure you will understand.
“To address this problem, I have asked the legislature to create a 21st Century Schools Fund that will replace large, impersonal high schools that fail, with small high schools that make sure our students are prepared for success in college and the workplace.”
So essentially we need to “acquire” more land in eminent domain grabs for more campuses.
“Second, we need to make sure that Michigan becomes the center of the alternative energy industry developing in our country. With both concerns about global warming and gas prices rising we know this industry is going to grow in leaps and bounds. I want that growth and the tens of thousands of jobs it will produce to be in Michigan.”
Even if it means the loss of HUNDREDS of thousands of jobs in the manufacturing sector, damn it!
“By setting what’s called a Renewable Portfolio Standard for the use of alternative energy sources, we can attract the businesses creating these revolutionary new technologies to Michigan. Twenty six states have a mandatory RPS and are attracting new jobs with it- so should Michigan.”
And we certainly love the term MANDATORY.. kinda has a nice ring to it.
“Third, we need to bring down the cost of our Corrections system.”
Honest I personally came up with that idea.. first… ..no really I did.. huh? Mackinac center who?
“When we enact sensible corrections reforms in Michigan, we will be able to use the savings to support more police and fire officers in our communities. It’s a much better way to keep our families safe.”
And definitely safer than using the inmates as security guards for the new schools, like in my first plan…
“These three issues have two things in common. They each address a critical problem we face in Michigan today and they each build on important achievements we have made over the last three years.”
And those achievments are as follows.. umm uhh ….DOH!
“In education, we are helping all our students prepare for success by setting high standards in our schools. We’re helping them pay the costs of college with the $4,000 Michigan Promise Scholarship.”
We promise to keep the paperwork required for it at a dull 4,000 page minimum so EVERYONE participates!
“In diversifying our economy, we’ve created the $2 billion 21st Century Jobs fund to bring technology and research based jobs to Michigan.”
Especially if they already reside here!
“And when it comes to lowering the cost of government, we’ve enacted a host of reform measures that are bringing down the cost of public employee benefits.”
We’ve hired a team of “enforcers” recommended by Ron Gettelfinger et al. They have a new brand of “insurance” so I am told.
“There’s clearly more we need to do, and to get it done, we need unity to move Michigan forward.”
And frankly, I am out of fresh original Ideas…
Thank you for listening.
To my pandering know little about the way things work “prattle.”