Lansing – From news reports
Governor Jennifer Granholm increasingly desperate over Michigan’s financial situation, believes she has found a new way to generate revenue for Michigan government coffers. At a Lansing press conference, Granholm beamed as she introduced her new director of the department of Rainbow Chasers Sean “the Sniffer” McFeeley. The department was created as Michigan faces even further reductions in revenue, even WITH the tax increases of the last year.
“Mr. McFeeley will head up our newest revenue generating department of Rainbow Chasers, which will operate somewhat like the treasury, and be every bit as effective in collecting the taxes from the undeserving few who hold monopoly of kettles filled with gold.” Granholm continued: “We have charged this department with the task of locating lost revenue due the state, and hopefully it should allow Michigan to pay the bills for the increased spending in this year’s budget.”
McFeeley for his part remained purely technical, explaining department numbers to reporters, and seemed to have a strange fixation on journalist Tim Skubick who was wearing an aquamarine sport coat during the interview. McFeeley, a farmer from Mesick, a small northern Michigan town also affirmed his dedication to the task at hand, claiming “not a pot untapped, nor stone unturned!”
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In other news -
Diminutive men who seemingly like to wear green have been seen in large numbers protesting at the capitol steps. Their protests sparked by increased “profiling” done by strangely overzealous Michigan revenue agents. As their spokesman (who wishes to remain unnamed) explains: “We try to mind our own business, but out of nowhere a colorful spectrum of light from the sky appears, and the next thing you know the suits are at the door!” Lansing officials have refrained from further comment.
What is the governor going to do, keep appointing positions to people for every government department. First a COO to do her job, then a Chief Collections Officer to do the treasury’s job. If we get to many bugs in the parks, is she going to appoint a chief exterminator? The governor is not capable of dealing with Michigan’s problems. As long as her only solutions are to raise revenue and increase spending, we are in deep trouble in this state. I move for her resignation.
Rose Bogaert, Chair
Wayne County Taxpayers Association,Inc.