Easton Rejects 2009 Climate Change Model Hockey Stick

Hockey Stick manufacturer of Composite sticks, shafts and blades for professional- and elite-level hockey players Easton, has given the thumbs down to a dejected climate change promoter Michael Mann.  Easton suggests Mann return to the drawing board and develop a more realistic model they can examine.  They also cite Mann’s prototype as having flawed pressure points that might cause potential users to misjudge the accuracy of their shots on goal.

Mann, the author of the Hockey Stick graph used by such notables as Al Gore, or other climate “experts” to demonstrate how much damage humans are causing the planet earth was unfazed by the rejection of Easton to his hockey stick design.  He insists the new design offers a number of advantages for those who want to play on the ice, (or fight) due to the sharpened edges caused by spikes in the manufacturing process.

“I WILL find a manufacturer for this new design, and expect to receive great amounts of government subsidies in adapting it to meet up to date requirements for fulfilling the political desires of our leaders..  It also has a cool Gene Simmons kind of look to it.”

NHL officials asked to comment on the new design wanted to limit their words to their worries about Mann’s other work.  They suggest a concern that due to the incredible amounts of electricity it takes to keep water frozen for their rinks, they might be targeted by Mann and his followers who want to eliminate electricity as a recreational provider.

On the design however:

“We have to look at his work as a whole.” Says one official who asked to remain anonymous. “When he says there is a consensus within the league that his hockey stick design is the only one that works, we become a little more suspicious.”

Indeed Mann’s work  has recently been the target of those who deny the reality that earth is perhaps only weeks away from becoming like Venus, a planet closer to the sun and very warm. It comes as no surprise that the naysayers have made it more dificcult for Mann to market this newest design.  But through it all he trudges on and reassures this reporter that manufacturing a hockey stick is just like manufacturing data: “It just has to have the right customer..”

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