How can one not become an emotional wreck upon finding that the man who married his daughter is not just a little to the left, but indeed a full blown communist? I have argued the facts, made case by case analysis, and actually thought I was getting through to him.. all the time thinking he was little more than a “dumb kid” with idealistic tendencies. A smart dumb one at that. (if you know what I mean..)

I am at this time truly distraught at this “discovery..”

I threw him out tonight. Thanksgiving.. Family present, daughter objecting to my treatment of him, and now I am possibly losing contact with her, after she and he made the trip to visit for the holiday from Oregon. Doing so in a near apoplectic fit, and raising my voice unfortunately as much as I ever have.. in all likelihood.

In my eyes he is real piece of work.

He hid this from my wife and I.. Saying only that he thought health care was a “right.” I am not a monster.. I know people are under this misconception. At the time where I point-by-point explained the logical consequence of how enforcement of that perceived “RIGHT” relinquishes others of theirs, also questioning him about whether he believes in private property rights, he finally admitted his “permanent position” with three words; “I’m a communist.” Embellishing with “you are not changing my mind..”

As if that statement makes it OK. I reminded him that communism, under Mao for example has killed more than 23 million  (I was wrong.. it was 65 million) didn’t faze him, didn’t matter, not wavering and frankly didn’t care.. drove me over the edge..  My anger and disgust for such an ignorant belief set didn’t allow me to continue on any measure of civil discourse, and he was told to leave, upsetting my wife, my daughter, and I am sure him.. to some extent.

How anyone can ignore the history of the scourge of communism to accept it into their life is beyond me..  unless that is what they want to happen again.

I am saddened beyond imagining as I love my little girl, and as most parents do, want only the best for her.  She will always be welcome in our home.  I am not sure however, that I could ever trust a person like her husband. I know that the relationship between my daughter and I is damaged, and I know it would take a miracle to be able to accept him as a part of the family.

This post is quite personal, but I know there are quite a few out there who “hide” their Marxist belief set.  I believe our president does.  How many others actually are committed communists?  And at what point do those radically wrong belief sets conflict with those of our founders as stated in our constitution.

I need advice.  I have never asked for help in this way.  I am already praying for some form of insight.

One of the arguments you will often see made here, is that government is no substitute for family. It serves no nurturing, guiding, or building effect whatsoever, and usually destroys the very natural accountability factor which makes family ever so important in these trying times.  If you can get it for free from Uncle Sam or Aunt Jenny, why would you face the scorn or disapproval of parents or responsible siblings.  The very fact there is limited accountability in government assistance enables those who have made poor decisions to continue making them.  Life will seldom improve for those persons until they can see WHY they are having difficulty.  Sometimes however, there is little real fault of the hurting individual, yet family is even MORE important still.

Here are some suggestions for family members of, and those who are facing employment financial troubles and wage downturns..

Firstly..  Family

Stay in Communication - Often pride gets in the way of asking for help, and then when it might be too late, the bombshell is dropped.  Family members should be proactive if they think there is ANY possibility that crisis is on the horizon.  Often interest free borrowing (if possible) can eliminate late charges and service fees which lessen the survival odds of a financial crisis.  Staying in touch also reaffirms the bonds you share.  Its kind of a good thing right?

Stay Constructive - Family members should offer suggestions on how they might better there situations when things get tight, but should also resist the urge to criticize in any general manner.  Helping to find the reasons things are “not-so-good” will be a more productive practice.  Identifying where things go bad is sometimes easier when it is a “third party” family member who knows the personalities involved intimately.  Unnecessary criticisms often result in reduced communications and lessen the chances of survival.

Identify Talents - Most all of us are good at SOMETHING.  Family members of the financially troubled can catalog the skills of their kin to help them transit more easily into their next career position or as a bridge.  Knowing what skills are available allows you to promote them to friends, businesses you are familiar with. or even “piece work” as possible jobs become available in your neighborhood.  Often, only Family and friends know the skills their brethren possess.

Your Turn…

Don’t Wait - Planning is ALWAYS important.  We are all familiar with who the real survivors are from the depression.  They were the ones who saw the writing on the wall, put the head down and persisted despite the plight.  Plan for a downturn in your income.  But even when you don’t see it coming, you can reduce the stress by being realistic about your situation.  No one loves you like your family.  If you need to find short term financial solutions, be realistic about the ability of your family to help you, and then don’t be afraid to ask for help…  Early.  “Pride goeth before the fall”  Be gracious and accept help if offered. Often making the difference between financial survival or not, is the ability to avoid late payment charges and service fees.

Odd Jobs - Often your family members are paying someone to perform maintenance around their houses, or businesses.  Offer your services and skills if you have any, and even if you do not.  If you are laid off and not actively pounding the street in search of your next paycheck, you will have the time to help them.  Even though you might not be as efficient as some professionals, most household repairs can be done if some thought is applied.  Aside from making a few dollars to fight off the late fees etc.., there is a sense of satisfaction when you walk away from a project done with your hands.  I’ve been there, and it helps to heal.

Remember Who Is First – You might have done what you could and find that bankruptcy is the only solution.  Give the consideration to family first.  Be realistic in your financial assessments and attempt to make sure your family comes first when looking at asset liquidation.  They are the ones who might be able to help you get back on your feet at a later date, and if you owe them and can pay ANYTHING before judgment make it a priority.  The stronger they are, the better off you all are.

There are many ways which family can bring about overall financial stability that far exceeds the ability of government.  Keeping close ties, and understanding the limitations of the assistance available makes the chances of your success increase greatly.  Your family, and your friends do not want you to fail, yet they know you sometimes better than you know yourself, and often the resultant help has better effect as a result.

First of all, if you have the luxury of reading this, then you have the ability to read, and using a computer suggests you have, or can make choices on priorities which affect you.  The ability to plan and make decisions is a blessing. As is the following:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

We are all blessed by our creator with those thing that cannot be taken away by man.

I give thanks for life.  I give thanks for our equality, and ability to pursue through our own personal best means to attain what enjoys us.  I give thanks for the founders, who recognizing tyranny, did the responsible thing for the benefit of future (our) generations. I give thanks to the efforts of men, who in their own pursuits have created from natural resources provided by God.. WONDROUS devices and happiness enhancing products.

We all have much to be thankful for, no matter our station.  In contrast to the hardships faced by the pilgrims who sailed to this great land, today’s poorest in the US are in a far better place. Today’s Middle class live in the luxury of yesterday’s Kings.  ALL of us have the ability to make decisions, to abide by the best practices to improve our personal situations, or to help those who are not as able.

We should all be in a place to give thanks.