WARREN – NEWS SOURCES
A Michigan biotechnological Firm has found a “switch” in the genetic code of primates which when triggered, transforms them to be more like humans than apes in a number of ways. According to scientists at the Warren based firm Eutroenics, the process is instant, and the result nothing short of “amazing.” Eutroenics, with assistance from the MEDC expects to go much further with a move to a larger facility in Detroit to better enhance it’s newly developed process.
Although the Michigan based outfit does not wish to give out too much info on the process which is scheduled for patent early in 2008, they have indicated it is similar to electroshock therapy used in certain mental corrective procedures. “They [the doctors who’ve used this method in the past] didn’t realize how close they were to completely altering the physical state of the subjects for whom they were responsible.” Said Alistair Frencks head of the DNA lab in Warren. “One bad slip, a variation in the electrical frequency, and their patients could have become a chicken.. or worse!”
Frencks says there were some earlier “Learning” mistakes made by his firm on the way to these incredible discoveries, noting that whenever they applied the process to a baboon, it always produced a “near-human” like replica of the former vice president Al Gore, and the creature reportedly “shivered a lot.” – STAFF