Pine, The other other other White meat…

AP – Naubinway

Hull Farley Runs a small timbering business which is about to see a boom time. Farley, as well as a number of other northern Michigan tree cutters has been contacted by the Michigan Department of Agriculture about the current planning to use Pine and Cedar for the new school lunch programs for Michigan students. “Who’d a thunk it..” Farley pondered, “I KNEW I was hoarding all those trees for a reason!” he said.

The department of agriculture has been exploring the use of a number of Michigan’s natural resources, and had dismissed the possibility of silica granules, festering manure, and old fast food deep fryer fat before settling on pine and cedar as the primary choice. Kenya Cyit, the MDA spokes person said; “Sand isn’t really healthy, we couldnt figure how to get the smell out of the cow stuff, and the next best choice was going to the burger shack dumpster.” Cyit continues.. “we thought we had a winner there, but apparently there are too many women who rely on make-up made with burger and fryer waste.”

The tree cuttters such as Farley and others are now looking at a windfall and increased work as Governor Granholms new “jobs by any freaking creative measure ” directive winds up. The legislation was introduced when it was clear Michigan had slipped behind Cuba in un-employment.